Religious Beliefs

As MPs vote on whether to go ahead with a Bill that could outlaw religious jokes, Chimpware celebrates comedy’s finest at their blasphemous best

Woody Allen
‘If only God would give me some clear sign. Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.’

‘Not only is there no God but try getting a plumber at the weekend.’

‘As the poet said: ‘Only God can make a tree’ – probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.’

Revisit – Half Life 2 (PC)

Yes, its back to that time of year where all the games taht are being released are either terrible generic shooters or Who Wants To Be A Millionaire XVIII. So, what better way to spend the time than to load up Steam once again and restart the good ol’ single player game in Half Life 2?

Chimpware Revisits explained

There are three main differences between ChimpWare revists and reviews.

One. ChimpWare revisits usually occur because a ChimpWare member has decided to return to a game/movie/book etc. (from here on referred to as presentation) he or she has completed at least once. Because of this revisits may, or may not refer to the storyline, therefore it is suggested if you have not completed the game, you read the revisit at your own risk. It is very possible several spoilers will be revealed throughout your reading.

Two. The revisit may be very biased towards a specific view or opinion. Unlike reviews, the revisits may not be a balanced opinion, and thus the revisit should only be read not as a decision to whether or not to buy a presentation, but rather to be read as entertainment, as an afterthought.

Three. The universal scoring system for reviews may not be used. ChimpWare revisiters may or may not implement a score at the end of the revisit, but if they do, it does not necceserily have to be out of ten. The scoring system should be out of something which reflects what is said in the revisit. Awards cannot be given.

Hard Times – All change down at the chippy

IBM decides to stop making Apple-flavored chips
posted by Sideath

The majority of computer users couldn’t care less what make their central processor unit (CPU) is – whether it’s Intel, AMD, IBM or Motorola. Get online, however, and you’ll find a huge contigent of people who care passionately about precisely who makes their chip. Not that it really makes much difference. There are in depth discussions on ‘pipelines’, ‘threading’, and ‘frontside BUS speed’. And every camp for a certain make is sure it’s choice is best; to deviate is tantamount to betrayal!

Lateral Thinking – Uncontrollable

Is a new type of control really expanding on a developer’s freedom?
Sideath

Once upon a time, there was a Spectrum System – the first games ‘console’, with a specialised ‘gamepad’ – a D-pad and a button. Then there was an Amiga 4X – but thins time with its own keyboard (whooo). In the next 20 to 25 years, over 50 variants of console, and unlimited numbers of PCs and Macs have been designed and released, however, they still orbit around the same two styles set down by these original giants. Yes, they may increase the number of joysticks (which are basically analogue D-pads), increase the number of buttons (including [drum roll here] shoulder buttons), but nothing revolutionary, nothing fantastic. And frankly, by March 10 2005, I was getting bored with WASD and and joysticks.

Twenty Questions – Nintendo 2003 – 2005

Every so often, Chimpware will release Twenty Questions about a specific subject, anything from Custard to Nintendo. Difficulty will range from pretty difficult to so difficult you have to look it up… and still you may not find the answer! I’ll be genuinely surprised if someone gets the right answer to all twenty questions. Answers will be released shortly.

Review – Nintendogs (DS)

Format: Nintendo DS
Publisher: Nintendo
Producer: In-House
Genre: Simulation
Origin: Japan
Reviewer: Sideath

It’s been reported that around 70% of people that read a review will glance at the score first – and around 30% of them will only look at the score – and then close the window/magazine/webpage. So – yes, go ahead, scroll down and look at the score – but then let me explain myself.